It all started yesterday as I looked through random pictures on Facebook of people and places back in St. Louis. I didn’t even know the people in the pictures, but I recognized the streets and the style of the homes. It immediately brought me back home. Home to St. Louis. It’s amazing how a simple picture can take you to a completely different place both mentally and emotionally. I immediately wished I could run to SFO and hop on the next plane to St. Louis. I wanted to see the bare trees and the warmth of my breath in the crisp winter air. I miss the streets of St. Louis. They look so different than the streets in California. There seems to be so much more history in them. So much of my history too.
I thought it was just a moment. A moment that would soon pass and I’d go back to remembering how great I have it here in the sunny state of California. But then I opened my Inbox first thing this morning and saw an email from our best friend Petros. And as I read the email and then later chatted online with another best friend, the ache from the day before returned and it was much deeper. The sadness of missing a certain place is normal, but when it comes to people, that sadness quickly turns into a very real ache. Today my heart is aching for those people in my life that have been there for me through it all. At least for today, I’d like to be somewhere familiar. A place that has memories and a place with those I hold dear. I want to be with the people in my life that know my greatest accomplishments and have witnessed my greatest failures. I want to be with those who find that the combination of these two is what makes me beautiful. I have the best family and friends in the world that have the ability to make me laugh until my cheeks and stomach hurt. Today I hope they know just how much I miss them.
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I can only imagine how much it would hurt to have so much history, people and memories in another place. Home has always been the Bay Area for me, but most Bay Areans call somewhere else home. So… you are not alone. I’m sure this blog will touch others’ hearts. Thank God for the internet and planes.
And I like that rose.
You said so well what many others must feel that are away from family and friends. As much as I love to hear from friends and family back home there are times when it really hurts and I just want to be there with them.
I love the rose and the rugged fence. Take the beauty with the thorns.
Oh Candace, I miss you so much! I miss your laugh, your depth, you sharing my love affair with chocolate
your passion for life, people and Jesus — and all of the beauty that is YOU. I still don’t want to believe that you are going to live in California forever. I am so glad you have this blog. I can hear your voice in your writing. It is a joy seeing the gifts God has given you and V being used. I love you!
It’s so weird that as I read this post, I didn’t think of a place I miss since this area is my home, but I thought of how I miss my future husband. I wonder when I’ll meet him or if I’ll ever have a future husband. I’m glad, though, that if I never have one, I have a future home in heaven where there will be no more unfulfilled longings because the Lord will be my fulfillment.
I SOO understand and feel the same way!! Especially when I think about my best friends who live thousands of miles from me now. But am SOO thankful for you my friend and that God blessed us with a friend from ST. LOUIS!!!