Babes, How Do I Look?

I fin­ish up my hair and makeup and by this point I’m def­i­nitely sweat­ing because, of course, I’m run­ning late. I dash into my bed­room to throw on my panty hoes (gotta have some­thing to suck it all in) and I throw my dress over my shoul­ders as it falls down and lays nicely, hug­ging my hips. I quickly throw on my heels and take that final glance into the mirror.

Ok, hair looks good. Makeup is nice. Jew­elry? I’ll just throw some ear­rings on…I never know what jew­elry to wear.

I sigh as my eyes make it down to my stom­ach, hips and thighs. Every woman’s favorite area. Am I right, ladies?

Oh man! This totally makes me look fat. But what else would I wear? I love this dress, I just don’t love these squishy spots . Oh well, I just don’t have time to change. It’s ok. I look fine. Let’s just see what Vitaliy thinks.

(Oh, poor guy! We all know what hap­pens next. Poor guy is about to walk into a bat­tle­field with­out any warning.)

I call Vitaliy into the room and say to him, “Babes, how do I look,” as I turn around in a full cir­cle like a lit­tle girl show­ing off her princess dress.

(Pause as he checks me out.) You look great, babes!

Vitaliy, you totally hes­i­tated. What is it? What don’t you like? Just tell me the truth.

What are you talk­ing about? I didn’t hes­i­tate at all. I think you look great. I love that dress on you. You know that!

Babes, just tell me the truth. I can change if you want. Do I look fat in this? Is that what it is? Seri­ously, don’t make me look stu­pid in front of these peo­ple. Just tell me the truth.

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Tell me some­body out there can relate to this? I must clar­ify, for my husband’s sake and my own, that this is not how it always goes down. But there are times when it does and it is pretty funny look­ing back on them. What I am about to say, is based on what Vitaliy does do on a reg­u­lar basis — he make me feel beautiful.

I thought I’d share this with you today because we care about mar­riage. We may pho­to­graph your wed­ding day, but what is also impor­tant to us is your mar­riage. When I saw these two pic­tures of Brian and Kate, I knew I’d have to write a post about hus­bands check­ing out their wives. Why? Because it’s impor­tant! When I ask Vitaliy how he thinks I look, I want to hear details. Hus­bands, stay away from gen­er­al­i­ties such as “pretty”, “beau­ti­ful”, or “hot”. But instead, tell her what is pretty or beau­ti­ful or hot about her. And most of all, to pre­vent the sit­u­a­tion that I shared above from hap­pen­ing to you, tell her how won­der­ful she looks before she asks. It will pre­vent you from being backed into the dark and ugly cor­ner we wives like to put you in.

I’ll end with a great truth that Mark Driscoll shared in one of his sermon’s. “Let your spouse be your stan­dard of beauty.” This goes for you ladies too! Do not let the world dic­tate what your stan­dard of beauty is, but let your spouse be your stan­dard of beauty at all times. I say, at all times, because peo­ple change over time so that means your stan­dard of beauty will change as your spouse changes. I never thought of this until I heard it from Mark, but he is def­i­nitely on to some­thing here.

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Leave a com­ment and tell Brian and Kate just how cute they are! Brian, I can see that you are already prac­ticin’ what I’m preachin’.