I sat in the movie theater trying to distract myself from the pain and confusion that had become my life. It was quite fresh. In fact, it was only days after I had found out that Vitaliy’s parents and little brother had died in a car accident. My friends took me out for the night to keep me company. We went to see the comedy Monster-In-Law with Jennifer Lopez. It was supposed to be funny and lighten the heaviness in my heart. Unfortunately, it was during this movie, as I slouched in my seat in the darkness that surrounded me, that I let tears stream down my face as I realized for the first time, I would never have a mother and father-in-law.
I’m sure that some of you out there who have a bad relationship with your in-laws are thinking, “You’re lucky!” But in my situation, this is actually a very big loss. Yaroslav and Svetlana were one of a kind.
I only got to meet them once. They had come to Chicago for Vitaliy’s graduation. It was the “meet the parents” kind of meeting. A big deal! And I was extremely nervous. But after being with them for only five minutes, their kindness calmed any doubts I may have had. I only wish I would have known it’d be my only chance with them. I would have brought a video camera or tape recorder or something. But instead, I hold on to the few memories I have and rely on Vitaliy and others to fill in my missing pieces.
Here’s a piece that came into our inbox a few weeks ago. I asked permission to share this email.
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Hi Vitaliy and Candace,
I found your page through the timtabstudios. When I first read the name Prokopets, it sounded so familiar that I had to check your website and when I read your story, yes I was confident that I knew the Prokopets family. Vitaliy probably doesn’t remember me, but I remember him and his family. His dad’s office (it was quite some time ago) was next door with our apartment door. And I remember Yaroslav as a person who was always happy. Especially I remember when Yaroslav visited us in Vancouver, WA. I think it was fall of 2002-03, or maybe it was winter. At that time my mom was really sick, she was fighting cancer. I remember how Yaroslav talked with her (he was like that sunshine on a rainy day). He was a good encouragement to all of us and especially to me. I was once more reminded by God that He still cared for us. My beloved mom went to her Lord in 2004. I just want to let you know that I’m very thankful to God for that moment of encouragement that Yaroslav brought to us, that visit was very special to me.
I will keep your family in my prayers!
Kristina
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As we approach the five year anniversary of the accident next week, I wanted to share this to remind ourselves and to possibly encourage someone out there reading. Though our loved ones are no longer with us, we celebrate the fact that their memories are still alive today which was made evident by this email. One thing Vitaliy has often expressed is that he wished his dad was still alive because there was so much he still wanted to learn from him. But as we read this testimony together, it was evident that his examples are still teaching us today. And though I’ll never get to experience life with Yaroslav and Svetlana again, in little ways, I get to experience them through Vitaliy each and every day. In fact, I’ve often referred to Vitaliy as my “sunshine on a rainy day”. Now I know where he gets it from!
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Like father, like son.
14 Comments so far
Your words left me in tears. Thank you, beloved wife, for your kind words and for sticking alongside me these past 5 years. I hope that I will be the kind of man your father-in-law was.
I loved it Candace and Vitaliy’s comment finished me.
Very beautiful. I am sure many will appreciate and many will connect in some way or another. Thanks for sharing from your heart! <3
all I can say is wow, that was such a beautiful tribute!
I share many of those sentiments, as my in-laws also passed away before I could get to know them. Their memories are very much alive in the one I love though. Thanks for putting into words what I’ve been feeling for so long!
Why do the two of you always make me cry? I’m sorry I did not have the pleasure of meeting mom & dad Prokopets but know I will one day and then I’ll be able to let them know how much I love their son.
You guys are so amazing and you def made me cry. What a gorgeous post!
Thank you for sharing your heart through such a beautiful post. I love you, Candace and Vitaliy.
That is a beautiful post Candace. I love it when someone you don’t know knew a loved one that is no longer with us and tells you about them. It’s such a blessing from the Lord to hear those stories. Thanks for sharing.
I can’t imagine being without in-laws, let alone being without parents. In the number of years that I have known the both of you, your strength as a couple has been a wonderful example to others. No one would have thought badly of the both of you to slump down in life, throw up your hands, give-up and question God why He brought this fate upon the both of you — but you both have not, and He has continued to bless and enrich your lives since that day! God calls us all back to Him at some unknown-to-us point in our life, and he chose that day to call upon V’s family, but rest assure that they are in everlasting peace in His presence!
Good to hear from V. Thank you Candace for sharing!
I share the same sentiment as Kelly. I cannot imagine your loss, but I know that through honoring and remembering their life, God is glorified. Thanks for sharing!
Candace, this really touched me. thank you for sharing your heart with us. you and V are true testimonies of God’s amazing and work.
I think about it everyday, Candace, how neither you nor, if I’ll ever get married husband will ever get to know my parents. And I think you are right about Vitaliy that he can show glimpses of my dad or even my mom through his positive attitude, laughter, which are more like my dad,and care as well support which are more like my mom. I really appreciate this post, Candace. Thank you
You guys are the best! Thank you so much for sending love our way!
Very touching words Candace!