The Lone Star State & Sneak Peek

My Squeeze Machine (a.k.a. my hus­band, Vitaliy) is out of town this week vis­it­ing his best friend who just got engaged. While he’s out hav­ing fun, I’ve been slack­ing off a bit too. But I couldn’t go any longer with­out giv­ing you a lit­tle some­thing. I came on to share a sneak peek but also wanted to share about Vitaliy being in Texas so I went to brain­storm for the title of this post and found some hilar­i­ous Texas phrases. Need­less to say, I gave up on the title being cre­ative and focused on shar­ing these humor­ous phrases.

The engines run­nin’ but ain’t nobody dri­vin’.
Trans­la­tion: Not overly intelligent.

It’s so dry the trees are bribin’ the dogs.
Trans­la­tion: We really could use a lit­tle rain around here.

As wel­come as a skunk at a lawn party.
Trans­la­tion: (Self-explanatory)

Tighter than bark on a tree.
Trans­la­tion: Not very generous.

You can put your boots in the oven, but that don’t make ‘em bis­cuits.
Trans­la­tion: You can say what­ever you want about some­thing, but that doesn’t change what it is.

Here’s what I imag­ine a con­ver­sa­tion looks like between two neigh­bor ladies in Texas:

“Oh my heaven, Geral­dine, did you meet those new neigh­bors of ours!?! That wife, I tell ya…the engines run­nin’ but ain’t nobody dri­vin’. And I can tell already. Her hus­band is tighter than bark on a tree. He prob­a­bly won’t even let her come to bingo on Fri­day night with us. He can try to act but we all know you can put your boots in the oven, but that don’t make ‘em bis­cuits. And can you believe all the trou­ble that Peggy’s boy Dal­las has got­ten into lately. He’s just caus­ing an uproar in this here town, I tell ya! He’s as wel­come as a skunk at a lawn party now. It’s so sad. Well, I best get goin’ now. It’s too hot to stand out here any longer. Gotta go make some iced tea ‘fore Hous­ton gets home. I sure hope it rains soon and cools things off. It’s so dry the trees are bribin’ the dogs. See ya later!”

Hope those made you smile! Back to the rea­son I came here in the first place. Here is a sneak peek of what’s to come.